What the heck is this all about?
As a poor, ignorant man I went out looking for gold in my backyard. After six days of searching, I had found nothing. I was in despair. Nothing pleased me. I almost gave up my search. On the seventh day I worked harder than ever before. I dug everywhere and I left no stone untouched. At the end of my long day, I fell to my knees and started to cry. As I looked up now in search for someone's shoulder, I noticed a beautiful garden; and, in the middle of that garden there was a stone I had never seen before. With my last bit of strength, I carried all my sorrows and all my hopes over to the stone. With great pain, I picked up the strange looking stone and held it in my left hand. Instantly, a shrill little cry came out of me - a peep! I smiled. I named the stone a peep-stone. With my peep-stone in my left hand an incredible surge of strength and confidence filled my entire body. For the next forty days and forty nights I searched many backyards in search for gold, for my happiness! On the next day my dreams finally came true!
It was a beautiful day. I will try to describe it. As heaven's golden eye magnificently crowned me with her golden rays, about noon I'd say, my peep-stone led me to a series of gold plates buried near a weeping willow. Upon further inspection I noticed on each gold plate there were marvelous and strange writings. I jumped up in joy! A second later, when my feet hit the ground, a spectacular flash of pure white light stunned me. And it came to pass I finally came to and beheld a glorious angel who stood in front of me. I flinched and prayed. And it came to pass the glorious angel spoke thus to me, "You must translate the writings from these precious gold plates into blog form and put them up every day or so on the website unvmesir.com. Your blog will be prosperous and flow like milk and honey. The perfect insight and wisdom from each entry will keep visitors coming to your blog forever and ever. No, stop shaking your head at me. Go forth and convert. This is all." And so this is my story.
And so it came to pass that I did what I was told on that most magnificent holy day. The posts I share everyday or so are translations from gold plates I found with my magical peep-stone. I was sworn to secrecy about revealing anything else. The gold plates are in my possession and only a few crusty older gents have seen them. They, too, have sworn to secrecy about all other details.